More dreams

I'm starting to get really annoyed with the dreams I have about smoking ... they're just freaky and I wake up feeling guilty even though I shouldn't

But on the upside ... we had our family reunion this past weekend and I found myself outside with my cousin, her husband and father while they were having a smoke .... at one point I found myself on the receiving end of a facefull of smoke and was ok with it.

Happy Anniversary Gramma Mare!

Congratulations on 5 years of being a non-smoker Gramma Mare!!!!! You are an inspiration to me and because of you, I know that I too can beat this!!!

Thank you!!

Mini-Vaca

So I made it through my first vacation, albeit a mini one, without having a smoke. One of my big concerns is summer ... granted when it's summer, it will have been quite a long time since I'd have had a smoke but there's something about summer and smoking. Don't ask ...

So when I headed to Boca Raton/Ft Lauderdale/Miami this past weekend I'll admit ... I was a little nervous. But I made it .... tons of outside time, a few drinks, people smoking around me and the beach and I made it through without so much as a drag.

Saturday I might have just been way too stinkin' hot to smoke ... it was 85 while Bridget and I walked around South Beach and here trying not to stare at all the beautiful people.

Cigarettes not smoked = 397 (truthfully, probably more including a vacation)
Money Saved = $105

And tomorrow is 3 weeks!

Dreams

I know I've mentioned that I've had a few dreams about smoking in the last week and a half and I've heard that it's pretty common. And I've also read that you tend to cough quite a bit for the first few weeks/months after you quit ... your body's cleaning itself out and getting rid of all the nasty. Ok ... I get that too, so noted.

But when I wake up in the morning after having had a dream about buying a pack of butts just so that I could smoke one and I have a worse smoker's cough than I had the night before .... that's just WEIRD!

Post-weekend 2

I want to start off by thanking everybody!! You guys have all been so amazing in your support and cheering me on in this struggle. And it is still at times, a struggle. It's mostly a struggle with boredom and what to do with myself at home, when I'm slightly bored, that doesn't include thinking about having a smoke or worse yet, actually having one. I think I may take my mom's suggestion and ask Gramma Mare to teach me how to knit ... it'll help to keep my hands & mind busy.

Mikey hit the nail on the head with this post . For some reason, the ads with the scare tactics just made me turn away or turn the channel and ignore it ... but the ones that tell you the positive things about quitting and the good things that will happen 20 minutes (blood pressure returns to normal), a day (chance of heart attack decreases), a month (coughing, shortness of breath decreases) ... 10 years (lung cancer death rate similar to that of nonsmokers) ... after you quit smoking seem to have a better impact, on me at least. It's intriguing actually, to see how your body begins to mend itself.

I hadn't read this anywhere but it's one thing that I've personally noticed ... I sleep better and wake up earlier (which is good and bad). I don't feel nearly as groggy and spacey and generally crappy as I did a week and 4 days, 216 cigarettes not smoked and $57 not spent on said smokes not smoked, ago when I would get up in the morning. I find myself waking up before my alarm goes off and anyone who knows me .... that was completely UNHEARD of!!!!

Thanks again Mikey for the awesome post and encouragement ... I'm going to spend my hard earned, not spent on cigarettes, money in Florida this weekend ... possibly on some good food and/or wine that I'll be able to taste better b/c I'm not smoking

Happy Anniversary ...

... to me!!! It's officially been one week! One week ago today I stopped smoking and started this blog to tell you all the dirty details.

So that is approximately 146 cigarettes not smoked, and about $40 not spent on cigarettes according to my quit meter. In reality, it's probably more than that for both but we'll just go with the 'official' figures. So rock on with my bad self

Talk about mad ....

At least I'm not this mad

Progress

So yesterday, it was super nice here in the B'Lo so I had gone down to the branch for something and decided to pop my head out and talk a quick walk around the building and enjoy the weather. So I went out and ran into two guys that I know who were outside smoking ... and instead of walking briskly by and saying hello, I stopped and chatted ... while they were smoking right next to me. It smelled alright, but it definitely didn't make me want one. And I stood there with them for 10 minutes while they smoked and was completely cool. Similar thing today - parked my car, walking up the stairs and there were two women at the top smoking .... eh, it smelled ok but again, not good enough for me to want one!

So now it's just the psychological part of all it that I'm working on and that's been the hardest ... when I'm home, alone ... after dinner, while I'm making dinner, while I'm having a glass of wine ...... I'm definitely making progress though! AND .... I HAVEN'T GAINED ANY WEIGHT!!!!! YAHOOO!!!!!

Weight = Less 3lbs
Cigarettes not smoked = 130 (WOW!)
Money saved = $34 ... $30 of which I already spent so I'm making money now baby!!!

Quitmeter

You can see that I put my quitmeter off to the right here on the blog which is very cool. You go to the site and put in the date and time that you quit smoking and it calculates how long it's been since you stopped. And they allow you to do fun things like put it on your own website.

When you do that, there's two things that it doesn't carry over ... on the site you also input how many cigarettes you typically smoke in a day and how much you pay for a pack of cigarettes. When you hit 'calculate' it will then calculate how many cigarettes you haven't smoked and how much money you've saved not buying cigarettes.

So, not only has it been 5 days and 8 hours, I haven't smoked over 100 cigarettes and have saved almost $30, which I already spent. I know $30 doesn't sound like a lot right now but after a year, I will have NOT spent $2000!

Dreams I've had in which I smoked = 2

Post-weekend

The weekend wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would/could be ... probably in part due to the fact that I shopped for 5 hours straight on saturday afternoon. I pre-spent all of the money that I haven't yet spent on smokes on new clothes that I need like a hole in the head. I did also get two new pillows that rock!

After my mad day of shopping I went to John & Esther's for some good ol' fashioned pizza & birthday cake. The kids were, as usual, awesome and hysterical and a blessing to help me keep my mind off the twitchies and general urges to smoke and to break routine. We had a nice night and I hung around for a while after the kids went to bed and then realized how exhausted the shopping made me and I went home and slept like a baby.

Sunday was good too ... I woke up and laid around and watched Headline News and While You Were Out for a while and slept on and off until around 10. I got up and made some breakfast and watched more news and WYWO and happily drank my coffee. The next thing I knew it was almost noon and then I realized that I hadn't swithced out my patch and I felt fine ... no cranky, nothing. So I decided to see how it would be to go the day w/o a patch at all but I did have one with me juuuuuust in case. I jumped in the shower and got ready and headed to Mark's house to watch the hockey game for a while. We went to the movies after the hockey game was over (BTW American Gangster = SO GOOD!!!!) and here I am, monday morning and still going strong w/ no patch.

I will admit that I had a HORRIBLE thought last night though ... for a very brief second, the pack of smokes that I threw out called my name from the garbage and i very fleetingly thought about pulling one out ... one that I'd doused in water and have since thrown 5 days worth of other garbage on top of .... EW!!!! Needless to say, I did no such thing and very quickly went in to my bedroom to try to get to sleep and stop thinking about it.

So, aside from that and the dream I had about having a smoke ... I'm doing pretty good!

Wegman's

I applaude Wegman's .... This takes alot of guts ... and it makes me lurve them even more.

Day 2

Still going well so far! Day 2 hasn't been too bad. Last night was a little rough but I was able to be out of the house for most of the night so that helped. Tonight and this weekend I'm a little nervous about b/c there's only so many things that I can think to do outside the house where I can't smoke and won't think about it .... and won't cost me tons of money, i.e. shopping =) but I'm sure I'll find plenty to do that'll keep me busy.

Work hasn't been bad either day so far. Today I'm sitting here, working my fanny off and the next thing I know, I look up and it's after 10am!!!!!! Haven't even thought about running out or anything!

I found it hard when I did get home last night ... all alone in the confines of my house and no smokes. So, unfortunately, I fell prey to what many people who are quitting smoking do ... food. So, I'll be going to the grocery store tonight and buying them out of baby carrots and/or celery ... good, solid, crunchy snacky things that aren't Jill's delicious Oatmeal Raisin cookies ... that melt in your mouth ....

It's only a hurdle and it's an easy one to get over and I will ... so be prepared for phone calls this weekend everyone!!!!

Day 1

So far so good .... it's been since about 10:30 last night when I had my last cigarette. After which, I took the remainder of the cigarettes in the pack, flooded them with water, squished the pack up and threw them away. I'm a little concerned about tonight but I'm sure that I can get through it. The hardest part so far, has been the mental part. Right now it's easy to not think about them, but once I'm home I'm afraid it'll be a different story.

It's the routine of it all .... sitting down, having dinner .... smoking a cigarette when I'm nice and full. Relaxing, smoking a cigarette and watching TV ..... driving ..... driving's going to be tough! But again, I have faith in myself and I know that I can do this ....

I just have to remember and keep thinking about how good I feel and how nice it is not to be chained to a pack of cigarettes and think "ok, do I have enough to get me through tonight and at least in to work where I can buy more when needed? Maybe I should just stop on my way home and pick up a pack just to be on the safe side". Which inevitably leads to smoking more that night b/c I know I've got plenty to get me through.

I know ... it's gross and doesn't make any sense ... that's how it goes though

Greetings

I've decided to start this blog to help me vent any frustrations that I may come across while beginning my quest as a newly minted non-smoker. I figure it'll also help me to celebrate the small and big victories along my journey.


It's not going to be easy, I know that ... but I also know that I can do this .... I have faith in myself and I have an awesome support network in my family, friends and co-workers.

And to boot, I'll get an awesome dinner out of it in 5 months as long as I am still smoke-free, courtesy of my friends Ralph & Bob. And, my favorite, wonderful, best brother-in-law has also agreed to reward me with dinner next January 3rd.


GAME ON!